Developing Godly Friendships

by Sam Laing

1. We must make a decision to love

1 John 4:19 – I have been loved by God, now I love others

a decision to give of my time/energy/affection/attention

we have friendships at the level we decide to have.

They don’t just happen.  There may be a person we “click” with, but even then we must decide to take the relationship to a deeper level.

2. We must devote ourselves to others

Romans 12: 9-13

Takes work

Takes time

Caring and devotion

3. We must divulge ourselves to others

2 Corinthians 6:11-13, 7:2-4

Facts, opinions, feelings….

Express our feelings of respect, love, and appreciation in words– written or spoken.

Openness and vulnerability: Confess our weaknesses, sins, and temptations.

Share our hurts, needs, weaknesses, struggles (spiritual, marriage, family, etc.)

Communication– talking consistently, openly

Expression of our commitment, love, respect, appreciation

Pride bars the way– humility opens the door

Fear holds us back– trust moves us forward

4. We must be determined when problems and conflicts arise

Bear with one another (Colossions 3:13), be patient with one another, speak the truth in love to one another…admit all personal wrong.  We don’t have to “win”, yet we must speak our heart.  The relationship is more important than the argument…push through…get help if you can’t solve it.

The Friendship of David and Jonathan

  • Decision (unselfish– no competition) 1 Samuel 18: 1-4
  • Devotion– made a commitment and a covenant– 1 Samuel 18:3
  • Giving (Jonathan expressed his commitment tangibly)
  • Loyalty (even when it costs us) 1 Samuel 19: 4-6, 30-34
  • Openness and emotion 1 Samuel 20:41
  • Efford beyond the expected 1 Samuel 23:16